Some Events and Examples
These are the examples of the manipulation, coercion, threats, abuse, neglect, and torture that I have documented over the years. Most of it never left a mark. A physical mark, that is
June 19th, 1996 Morgan’s 21-year-old girlfriend killed (Morgan was married at time) when Morgan flipped his truck end over end on I-90. He was wearing his seatbelt, she wasn’t, and she landed on the interstate. Knowing Morgan and his love of extramarital affairs (I know of at least 4) I suspect he told her relationship had to end since his wife had just had their child, it is possible he lost control of vehicle while they were fighting, and/or she jumped.
July 1997
I started dating Morgan Layne.
August 1997
Late August, Morgan knew I was pregnant (before I did) with Summer , I was happy I was pregnant, did not realize Morgan had been trying for two months to get me pregnant on purpose so I wouldn’t leave him, he was gleeful at first that he had me.
September 1997
I become aware of his love of guns, when he proudly displays and lovingly caresses the one he keeps locked up in the closet, a Beretta.
October 1997
Morgan wouldn’t let me sleep, (seems he never slept), Morgan complained to doctor I was sleeping too much, doctor said that is what pregnant women do. Slowly became scared for Summer once her dad’s true personality began to show itself, I became extremely depressed, afraid to tell anyone I was scared of Morgan. Postponed wedding til March.
November 1997
Finally regained my appetite. Went to Black Hills for Thanksgiving with my brother and sister and mother, Morgan refused to go with us. Morgan was furious I went with my family and did not stay home with him. He never liked them.
December 1997
Morgan decided we needed to pay all our bills off. Groceries became last priority. Grew more and more distressed about life with Morgan. Wanted to leave him.
January 1998
Extremely small grocery budget frustrated me. Wanted to eat.
February 1998
Had to borrow from 401K plan to buy groceries. Didn’t tell Him, Morgan insisted we eat once a day to save money. Terrified of spending money. Went into grocery store and was terrified of buying food for fear of making Morgan angry. He was getting meaner and meaner, verbally abusive, mocking me, demeaning me. Started to criticize me more and more. I postponed wedding until June.
March 1998
I was finally gaining weight, Morgan was complaining I spent too much money on food, did not know at the time his restriction of food and refusal to let me sleep constituted child abuse toward Summer .
Morgan tortured my cat by yanking her around by her tail. I told him calmly that it was a tail not a handle. He giggled at the idea then said, “She’s fine, I am merely tormenting her.”
April 1998
Morgan found out his ex wife and son were moving to Denmark with her new husband. Became VERY scary. Talked of hiring a hit man to kill her. (Wanted her dead without him having to be connected to the actions taken) I wanted to flee to another country and was envious of his ex-wife that she was going to get away from him. He starts taking his anger out on me in bizarre ways, teaching me various lessons to correct my defectiveness. I decide he has a serious problem, not sure what it is. He makes my engagement ring disappear to teach me a lesson, when I tell him he will be looking for a new place to live if he ever does something like that again, he starts laughing, and glaring at me after we get into his truck, he starts driving like a maniac to scare me into figuring out who’s REALLY in charge.
May 1998
May 10th, Morgan finally decided to talk to his mother, after 2 years of refusing to talk to her (In 1996 when he left his pregnant first wife to have a relationship with a girlfriend much younger than he, his mom yelled at him that his son was going to grow up calling some other man daddy. Later that night the girlfriend was killed in an accident, thrown from vehicle and landed on I90, Morgan was driving, was not charged with manslaughter, we are not sure what really happened, knowing Him, I suspect she jumped.) Finally admitting we needed help financially, he agreed to start talking to her again.
Summer was born May 25th.
June 1998
Morgan disregarded doctor’s advice and insisted on having sex with me two weeks after Summer was born. He and I were married Wednesday, June 24th.
July 1998
To save money on childcare, Morgan said we should keep our opposite shifts so we could both take care of her. What this meant was he got to sleep and I didn’t.
July 31st, 1998 When Summer was two months old I returned to work, and left her with her father for the first time ever overnight. He called me at 11pm to tell me something wasn’t right, Summer was making an inhuman repetitive noise, Morgan said he had laid her down to go to sleep and that she woke up crying. I raced home from work, he wouldn’t call 911, I had to, he told me to call them back and tell them not to come that everything was fine. He said he DID not want to become that well known at the hospital. Summer was still having seizures in the ambulance. They thought it might have been a febrile seizure. Morgan was questioned for shaken baby syndrome, I did not find out about this til later from a family friend who worked at hospital in the NICU. They never did find the virus that would have caused the febrile seizure. Summer was kept for two days for observation. Morgan refused to talk about what had happened, turned mean when I would ask questions. Yelled at me that insurance did not include Summer on policy (distraction method) and left me at the hospital to find my own ride home. As a baby, Summer was very well behaved, and seemed inclined to be as quiet and as good as she could be, as afraid of Morgan as I was.
August 1998
Started becoming more and more concerned about leaving Summer with her dad. He liked to tell me what an awful mother I was and call me at work so I could listen to her scream if she had a stomachache. I became more and more attached to her, and looked forward to coming home so I could sleep next to her. Hoped she would wait to go to sleep so I could get some sleep with her, but I knew she might be in danger if she cried while awake same time as her dad.
September 1998
Came home and couldn’t find Summer . She was sleeping in her bassinet in the master closet. Told Morgan not to do that anymore. Said he didn’t want the neighbors to hear her cries. I told him there was a crib and her own room for that. He said it was darker and quieter in the closet, that it was ok, it was a big closet.
September 1998
Got off work early at 5am. Came home and couldn’t find Summer . Saw her rear end sticking out of the couch. Grabbed her and she was gasping for air. Her right eye was swollen and half closed. Remained that way for the rest of the day. She had been left on the couch asleep and she had burrowed her way into the couch. She would have suffocated and died had I not arrived in time to find her. Ran into the bedroom to tell Him, who was sound asleep in bed. I said “Morgan do you know what almost happened to Summer ?” He looked over at her, I was holding her in my arms, and he muttered, “well she’s fine now right?”
October 1998
Morgan called me at work while he was watching Summer to scream “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!” And then he hung up. I raced home to find them both asleep.
I became unable to nurse Summer anymore, I became extremely tired and sick, IUD came out, on October 10th I found out I was seven weeks pregnant with her brother, Sebastian . I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was going to die if I left her alone.
October 1998
Morgan called me at work to tell me not to push the “big red panic button” that Summer had had a nosebleed. I called 911 anyway. The paramedics came. She had gotten a nosebleed since she had been laid face down on the couch while he went to the bathroom. She couldn’t breathe through the cushion.
October 1998
Came home on a few other occasions to find her buried under pillows (Morgan told me once his father had tried to suffocate him with a pillow) and sleeping in the closet. Morgan thought it perfectly normal to put babies in the closet. He said she was crying and he didn’t want the neighbors to hear her cries. Summer had a fully decorated room of her own, complete with a crib. To Him, the closet in the master bedroom on the end of the apartment building (where no one could hear her cries) was spacious and quiet, (though lacking adequate ventilation) was a better place for her to be. Tried to get Morgan some help. Tried to get him to talk to a pastor about our marriage and anything that might be bothering him. Got him to start going with me to talk to Pastor Sparks at Resurrection Lutheran Church. Became more and more terrified of leaving Summer alone with him. Seriously alarmed by his angry outbursts and his mood swings. Started attending church with friends, and spending more time praying for God to help me get away from him. I began leaving Summer with friends of mine who worked days. Began sleeping over at their houses as well so I could rest. Began spending less and less time around Morgan to keep Summer safe and to preserve my sanity. I would come home every couple of days. Morgan didn’t notice at first but then began to become suspicious.
November 1998
November 8th
After meeting with pastor at church for marriage counseling, Summer and I sat in running vehicle with Morgan outside Get ‘N Go while Morgan insisted I go in to get a Mountain Dew lid redeemed for a free pop, I refused, he waited, and he refused to move the vehicle for one hour til I did what he wanted. After waiting and waiting for me to go in, he became more and more adamant I go do it for him NOW. I told Morgan he could either take us home or we would start walking, he said you can go but the kid stays here, so I pulled Summer out of her car seat to take her out of her snowsuit since it was getting hot, he realized I wasn’t getting out, he threw the truck in gear and started driving with Summer on my lap. I asked him to stop driving so I could put her back in her car seat and he growled it was my fault for taking her out in the first place, drove home (about a mile) and he carried her in without her snowsuit on, glared at me and told me it was my fault she was getting sick. I decide his behavior and mood swings are getting way too dangerous and bizarre to live with. Waited a day and decided we needed to get away from him and try to leave. Later I find out his behavior mimics that of those who use meth.
November 9th
Called Children’s Inn to ask some questions, thought I might need to stay, told them Morgan was very emotionally and verbally abusive, concerned my for 5 month infant daughter, could no longer trust Morgan to watch Summer . Took Summer to the Children’s Inn for an intake that afternoon
November 10th
I stayed at Jamie Garrisson’s, a friend of mine from Citibank that I didn’t think Morgan knew about after work, and then called Children’s Inn to stay there that night. I did not want to endanger my friends when Morgan came looking for us to hunt us down, since we were his rightful property and he had a “right to know where we were.” He kept hunting for us, driving repeatedly by friends houses I didn’t even know he knew I had til he figured out we were at the Children’s Inn.
November 11th
Summer and I went to Children’s Inn, stayed for three days.
November 14th Morgan talked a pastor into getting me to have dinner with him, and while having dinner with him he stated he had wanted to kill me. (“Are you still mad at me, Morgan?” “ I wanted to kill you, Nikki.”) But, without enough evidence to keep him away from both of us, and my unborn child, I went back to document what I could til I had enough evidence for a protection order to keep him away from all of us. (This took another sixteen months, but by that time I had waited too long to leave.) Morgan was looking all over for me, trying to hunt me down, and threatened my mom he was going to have me arrested for kidnapping if I didn’t reappear quickly.
November 14th 1998 During first stay at Children’s Inn I was told sixteen months prior to the assault that based on his torture, neglect and psychological, emotional and verbal abuse to me and to the children, he would eventually escalate to physical abuse. I stuck around to get enough evidence to prove he was abusive. The prediction from the Children’s Inn was correct.
December 1998
Morgan started working as a police officer for Stonyfield. Became distant and cold, started reminding me what I had done, that I needed to pay for what I had done to him by taking Summer with me to the Children’s Inn, he started getting scary, more mood swings, and any time the Children’s Inn was mentioned he would get very angry. He was convinced they had talked me into coming there unnecessarily. He spent less and less time with Summer and me.
January 1999
Seth and Bridget , my only blood relatives in SD move to Texas. Morgan stops trying to maintain any semblance of niceness now that the last of my family is gone.
February 1999
Morgan became more and more frustrated with Summer . Insisted she straighten up. While changing her diaper he grabbed her legs and jerked them down to get her to stop wriggling. He told her to shut up. I told HIM to shut up, and not to talk to her like that. He grabbed me by the nose and shook my face and told me never to raise my voice at him again. I didn’t talk to him for a whole day, seriously tried to figure out how to leave him. Knew I didn’t have enough proof to keep him away from us. Determined I would stay only til I did have that proof.
May 1999
Morgan had a female friend of his at the house that was going through marital problems. Summer saw me crying the next day. I was tired of Morgan flirting with and going out with other women.
June 1999
Summer ’s y brother Sebastian was born June 28th . Summer would not meet him til July, he was hospitalized in the NICU immediately after birth until July 6th, he had a respiratory infection, and doctors did not know if he would live or die. I went and visited Sebastian every day. Morgan did not express any desire to see his son. He stayed home with Summer while I went to see Sebastian in the hospital.
July 1999
July 6th, brought Sebastian home from the hospital. Morgan did not come with me to get him.
August 1999
We decided to move to Lennox so Morgan could be there all the time. Found a house. Started packing. Summer and Sebastian watched while I boxed everything up and cleaned the house. I find out through getting paperwork together that Morgan was still married when we were dating, that he had lied about being divorced, that he was still married when I was pregnant with Summer , and divorce wasn’t final til September of 1997.
September 1999
September 24th we moved into our new house in Lennox.
October 1999
I went back to work, and had all my hours compressed into Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights so I could be with the children Monday morning through Friday evening each week. Sebastian and Summer had the chief of police’s daughter, Allison Samuelson , come in and stay each weekend from Friday night until Monday morning when she had to go to school.
A sixteen-year-old girl came to our house and was looking for Morgan. (Rachel) Morgan had been spending way too much time with her as early as October (even til 1 or 2am many nights). She was an explorer in the police program, and though the chief of police in Lennox told him it was inappropriate for him to be riding with a minor of the opposite sex unaccompanied (Morgan demanded he talk to the city council to get this okayed) and that he would need to bring another adult with him if they were going to ride together, Morgan just took her to Thornton and Stonyfield and they rode together there instead. Morgan would later insist this girl stay at our house (under the guise of watching Sebastian and Summer ) while I was working overnights even though he was home (on call) and even though we already had a perfectly capable babysitter, that Sebastian and Summer had become attached to. (Allison Samuelson ).
November 1999
Mallory turns seventeen November 24th. She starts coming by the house a lot more often.
December 1999
Morgan is angry I won’t have the second IUD taken out. Wants to “risk” another pregnancy. Likes to live on the edge. Tries talking me into getting it taken out. I don’t want a third child, but he doesn’t seem to care.
Morgan buys Mallory a gold necklace for Christmas. Mallory starts spending the night at our house. Morgan insists we replace Allison with Mallory against my insisting Allison is working out fine. Morgan wins and Mallory comes over to spend the night while I am not home. Though I think it inappropriate for him to be spending the night alone with a teenager, he says I am overreacting and that he is her mentor. I let his mom know what is going on and at first she laughs and says I should get used to it, the girls have always come after him. And if I think it is bad now, just wait til he’s school liaison (for Langley County Sheriff’s office). All the girls will be after him then. I realize I am in the twilight zone.
Morgan is out riding around with Mallory til 2am on a regular basis.
January 2000
Morgan starts his job as the school liaison officer for the Langley County high schools. He is gleeful when he states “I am a wolf in sheep’s clothing” He claims he can get anyone to do anything he wants and make them think it was their idea. I am starting to realize how seriously twisted and disturbed he is, and how human beings are merely tools for him to accomplish his objectives without any effort on his part. He unashamedly delights in being a predator, in destroying relationships (pretended to be his boss and got him involved in an internet relationship, destroyed him so that he would not be able to turn Morgan in for what he knew Morgan was doing with Rachel) he absolutely has to be in charge. He will not tolerate being told what to do. He is proud of his cold, machinelike qualities and considers others to be inferior and weak and cursed for having emotions.
January 2000– Morgan under investigation by Langley County Sheriff’s office (mentioned to me by chief of police in Lennox and confirmed by Jim Zick, LCSO) for inappropriate amount of time spent with minor while on patrol, and possible sexual relationship with her (Mallory Haan, a junior at Lennox high school), he was the Langley County Sheriff’s liaison for the Langley County schools. I had known about relationship since November 1999.
Morgan buys a second gun and insists on taking it everywhere, because he can, even out to dinner and to the movies. (Pastor Brewer indicated we should have a once a week date, which eventually turned into a once a week fight on his part) Morgan insists we buy a new Durango under the guise it would be a family vehicle, takes my vehicle to work (to preserve the Durango) and then leaves me alone with strict instructions not to go anywhere (keep his Durango spotless), then one day I decide to go somewhere with the children (in the family vehicle) and he is livid. Summer and Sebastian start witnessing Morgan’s anger and coldness toward me.
Morgan leaves his gun belt with gun still in it lying on the bed frequently, many times a week. The children rarely see their dad. He is working 100 – 110 hours a week. I tell Summer and Sebastian to stay out of Mommy and Daddy’s room, I hate guns, and I didn’t want to touch it, was afraid I would set it off, and didn’t want them around it. In addition to leaving the guns on the bed and depriving me of sleep than laughing when I told him I was falling asleep on the way home from work Morgan starts hinting one night I should just end it all (commit suicide), making bizarre comments about death and ending it all, hinting while I asked him how many stories high the grain elevator in Lennox was, that it might be high enough to make it work. “How high is that building do you suppose,” I said. With a little too much enthusiasm he replied, “Why, thinking of jumping?” And after telling him I was falling asleep at the wheel on the way home from work (due to sleep deprivation), he grinned as though the idea of my death was appealing to him.
February 2000
February 1st, I hear voice mail Mallory leaves, telling Morgan she loves him. I talk to the pastor the next day, and then confront Morgan about it later. He gets angry and denies anything is happening (but saves the message) and later that night Mallory attempts suicide. She wrecks her car trying to end her life, and ends up at the hospital to have her stomach pumped for the overdose of pills she took. Morgan continues to see her.
My boss finally switches me to a day schedule. The children are now at Citibank daycare, so they are close to me all the time while I am at work. I go and have lunch with them. We come home and Morgan is usually gone. We see him about once a week. I am gradually becoming more and more afraid of him. Can’t put my finger on it but I sense the end is near.
Because I make more money on the night shift, I am not allowed by Morgan to switch to days. I do it anyway. Even though I now have a day schedule, Morgan now likes to call and wake me up while I am sleeping at night. I am afraid to sleep, on guard all the time. I am starting to hallucinate from sleep deprivation. Morgan is livid when I try to take the kids to a daycare so I can sleep.
March 2000
Morgan never comes home anymore, and frequently stays at the Lennox office til 6am even after his shift is done to torment me and make me beg him to come home. He keeps threatening divorce to make me jump and beg him to stay. Likes to play with my mind when he does talk to me and repeats things he has heard from conversations I have had with my family. Found out later I wasn’t paranoid, that he had been parked a block away listening to my cordless conversations via his police scanner.
March 19th.
Had strong urge to get on interstate this morning and head to Florida. Can’t prove it but I have a feeling my usefulness to Morgan has expired and I am about to be discarded.
Morgan started being unusually nice this morning, offering to start a bath, gave me a creepy feeling that he had decided how to get rid of me. While at work my life was flashing before me, I was regretting I hadn’t spent enough time with my kids. Had the distinct feeling my life was over and I was going to die soon.
Summer is asleep in bed next to me when Morgan decides to throw me out of the house, Summer was forced to witness the assault after third trip back up the stairs (another form of child abuse), saw me getting yanked out of my clothing for what would have been a fourth trip down the stairs, and she screamed, breaking him out of his “trance” I dove for the phone to call 911 after he was distracted by her cries. (After standing up to him and insisting I was going to get some sleep, that I wasn’t going to play his game anymore, essentially, that we didn’t need to buy him any more toys) and witnesses Morgan trying to drag me out of the bedroom by my ankles, she screams and he is distracted, I am able to call 911. (I am convinced he would not have stopped trying to “teach me a lesson” had she not woken up and seen what he was doing). After the assault he angrily said “WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF LEECH? TRYING TO LIVE OFF MY FAMILY’S MONEY?” Sebastian is asleep in crib in the next room but wakes up when he hears Summer screams. Sebastian starts screaming also.
March 20th
Morgan went to tell his boss Sheriff Dennis Johnson it was all a confrontation and that nothing had happened. I call his other boss, the chief of police in Lennox and show him the bruises up and down my arms. They take pictures and interview him and advise me to stay at the Children’s Inn.
We stay at the Children’s Inn for three weeks. Summer wakes up every night screaming. Neither child will let me out of their sight. Of the two, Sebastian seems to be coping better with the change in circumstance.
March 2000 – June 2000 I was scarred physically by the assault, Summer was scarred emotionally and psychologically for having to witness it. She woke up screaming for three months afterwards.
March 2000- August 2002 For over two years, until I initiated contact again, Morgan chose not to have contact with his children since Judge Bogue would not give him my address and phone number during the first two protection orders. He was granted visitation rights and chose not to exercise them since he couldn’t get to me through them.
April 2000
April 6th. After my dad came for a visit to SD (he had planned weeks before) and through an interesting turn of events, we were bodily placed on a flight out of here, to get us away from Morgan. I was no longer able to decide for myself what we should do. I had spent so long being terrified of him, I was convinced he really would have all the cops in three states after us if we tried to leave. I had stayed for evidence and documentation, but I had waited too long to leave.
Sebastian and Summer and I get to fly first class to Florida. I fly back to SD with my mother for the first protection order hearing. Sebastian and Summer stay with my sister and cousin in Kissimmee, Florida. In shock and in severe depression, my family helps me take care of Sebastian and Summer , for the next six weeks. Suffering from PTSD, and terrified to take antidepressants for fear that Morgan is going to take the children away from me, I am still not sleeping, still on guard. Summer is still waking up screaming. Neither child will let me out of their sight. &n bsp;
May 2000
May 24th, After weeks of not sleeping and being on guard, I finally collapse after listening to Morgan’s various pleas and threats that I buy him a plane ticket and bring the children and come back to him. I was awake til 5am the day before on the phone listening to his monologue. Hospitalized for exhaustion for three days at Florida Hospital. Sebastian and Summer go to stay with my mom after I get out of the hospital. Finally taking antidepressants, finally sleeping, finally getting my ”self” back. Sebastian and Summer stay with my mom June, July, August and September while I find a job in Orlando and get an apartment to show the judge I am capable of taking care of them by myself. I drive three hours to Fort Myers to visit the children several times during the summer and stay a few days each time.
June 2000 Morgan is sentenced for three counts of simple assault, he gets 30 days on a suspended sentence on the condition that he get some help.
October 2000
I flew to SD for custody hearing. (As retaliation for asking for child support, after being gone for six months, he retaliated by demanding full custody and insisting I was insane and incapable of taking care of Sebastian and Summer .)
November 2000
Morgan contacts the children’s daycare to see if they are wearing clean diapers. This is the first, last and only time he tried to make contact with them from March 2000 until August 2002 when I came forward and asked if he would like to see them.
In a creative way of getting around the protection order, Morgan sends an e mail from his mother’s dog, to my mother’s e mail address, to inform her that Morgan’s mother has hired a private investigator to keep an eye on me and my live in boyfriend. I had no such boyfriend, my sister’s boyfriend stayed at my apartment while he was in town on business, once. In order to see him coming they would have had to be watching me an awfully long time.
December 2000 Divorce is final.
April 2001
Sebastian and Summer went to stay with my mother while I go to SD for the second protection order hearing, so that I can move back to Briarcliff. (Morgan insists on having our address and phone number and the judge refuses to give it to him, stating Morgan can make contact through attorneys, and he is free to contact them at daycare. Not able to use the children to get to me, he has no use for them and does not attempt to keep in touch with them or form a relationship with them.)
July 2001
With protection order in place, we move back to Briarcliff.
August 2002
I decide to get up the courage to contact Summer and Sebastian ’s grandmother to let them get to know her. I decide I am finally able to handle whatever comes my way and that Sebastian and Summer deserve to know their family here in Briarcliff. I contact Dante Blackwood , Morgan’s mother, to see if she would like to visit with her grandchildren. She says “Why are we meeting here? There’s a park across the street from where you live (there had been before we moved to a new house 3 months prior) And then she added, “Are you still driving that gray pickup? I said no, traded it four months ago” but then realized it was her way of telling me she had been watching me for some time, knew where I lived, knew what I was driving. This wasn’t the first or last time I have discovered Morgan/ his family were stalking me.
August 16th Summer and Sebastian see their dad again after 2½ years. Morgan said he “had been looking into terminating his parental rights in exchange for not having to pay child support.” (Last ex wife offered this after he had not contacted his son for a year after they moved to Denmark, and Morgan accepted.)
September 2002
September 1st, Jamie (a roommate) and her daughter Destiny, Sebastian ’s age, move in so Morgan won’t think I am all alone. (He has a history of predatory behavior). Morgan isn’t happy I have a roommate. (Roommate notices a change in Sebastian and Summer , that they seem to be angrier and more violent now that they are in contact with their dad.)
(From August until February Morgan called, sometimes several times a day, for no apparent reason. Would get upset if I didn’t answer the phone right away. Would get upset if we weren’t home to answer the phone. Would get upset if he couldn’t find us. Never once did he call to talk to the children, though I would ask him if he wanted to talk to them. If I did not ask him, he did not request it. He would not call for that reason until February when he realized he was running out of reasons to call me. Then he called twice to talk to them, realized I had nothing to say to him and hung up.)
September 16th, Summer starts preschool at Briarcliff Lutheran. She and Sebastian now see their dad five times a week. Their father is still insisting it isn’t enough.
Two weeks later, Summer refuses to go with her dad to preschool. Happily rides with my roommate to go to school instead. Not sure what happened, she said she just didn’t want to see daddy. Morgan was angry and insisted she come with him and that she would fail kindergarten if she didn’t go with him to preschool right now. She refused to look at him. Morgan was convinced I said something to her. She tells him not to touch her private parts. Shocked, he asked me what this was about, I told him I had told her not to ever let anyone touch her.
Morgan keeps the children late enough to walk into the house with a sleeping Sebastian to “put him to bed.” I told him to hand Sebastian to me; he wouldn’t let him go and demanded to see his room. I asked Morgan to leave.
October 2002
October 3rd
Morgan walks into the garage and through the back door of the kitchen, right into the house, asking my roommate where I am, after returning an hour early with the kids. I decide I have to end daycare, so I can leave the house for visitation exchanges and stop being a sitting duck. Morgan lets the kids run around without trying to get them into the house to have a reason to snoop through the house and the garage for his “stuff” he is convinced I took from him when I moved to Florida.
Morgan is teaching the children Marilyn Manson songs.
After a visit with her dad, Summer is coming home and is dancing like a stripper. When I corner Morgan about it he claims he has no idea where she picked it up. Starts accusing that it must have happened while she was with me. The children are getting more mouthy and Sebastian has started to slap and hit me when I tell him no. Summer screeches and slams doors whenever I tell her she can’t have something she wants.
Halloween, after asking to come home to go to the bathroom, Summer refuses to get back in the car with her dad. (I think she knew she could get home if she said she needed to use the bathroom?) Wouldn’t look at him.
Morgan comes and goes as he pleases, entering my house whenever he feels like it, arriving late, returning early, using visitation as a tool to get into the house and look around and refuses to stick to a schedule. I start cutting back his days when he starts forgetting to pick up the children on time from school. When he starts threatening he will get the children taken away from me, I tell him I need to end the conversation. I also tell him to stay in the entry of the house from now on, that he is not welcome to step foot in our house anymore.
November 2002
November 10th
Morgan gets very angry when he brings issue of child support up. He reminds me several times I am stealing his money.
I tried moving the visitation exchanges to the YMCA. Morgan gets angry when the children refuse to come with him. Insists I am doing something to them to make them not want to come with him. Says he can’t take them places when they are crying, that he needs to keep a low profile, that he is invisible and that he can’t be going places with screaming kids. “For all practical purposes Nikki, I don’t EXIST, not on paper, not on a lease, not on a utility bill, and I intend to keep it that way.” I realize it is more important for him to be invisible than to attend to the needs of his children. Exchanges go back to taking place in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Morgan makes me wait several times to come out (too many times to count) to the parking lot to get them. Relent to his demanding more time and give him overnight stays at his house. Children start seeing him on weekends from Friday night after preschool to Saturday morning before he has to go to work at his second job.
Children return from visits with their dad after spending the night with him disheveled and not bathed and wearing same clothes as day before.
Morgan shows up at our house after I tell him to bring the children to the YMCA. He dropped them off, ignoring the instructions to bring them to the YMCA. My roommate was in the shower, and didn’t know Morgan had brought them home. She couldn’t figure out how they had gotten home. He would have needed to come downstairs to the basement to see if anyone was home. He saw nothing wrong with it. I think it was an excuse to look around the house. I tell him never to come by the house again after that.
December 2002
I find out through research that Sebastian and Summer ’s dad has a personality disorder, (after begging God to help me stay away from Morgan and his persuasive personality); a lot of things finally fall into place for me as far as understanding his pathological lying, his weird, threatening, and sometimes violent behavior when he doesn’t get his way. I start cutting way back on contact with him.
December 2nd
Sebastian and I attended Summer ’s Christmas program at preschool. Daddy and grandma did not attend, though they were invited.
December 16th
Called Children’s Inn, since Morgan hinted he wouldn’t bring them back like he was supposed to, pending snow, basically wanting me to be available to wait for his call to let me know if it was snowing in Garretson and if the weather would permit him to drive back on the interstate. I watched the news found out it would be fine, tell him the children need to return as scheduled. Beginning to be alarmed by his weird behavior. Still feeling that deep down he is using the children to keep track of and control me.
After spending Christmas with their dad at their grandmother’s house, Morgan has to extract all the presents stuffed into the car and on their laps to get the children out. He makes a big deal about how the presents are going home with HIM, and how none of the presents get to go home with the kids. Because I showed up with a friend to get the children he freaks out and gets angry, calling me at home to demand to know why I didn’t drive straight home like I said I would do. (We took Oxbow to 57th then home, instead of 49th to Western to 57th then home.) I then realize he has been watching us, following us home, and possibly stalking us.
December 30th Morgan cancels visitation at the last minute, claims car trouble.
January 2003
Morgan is still seeing the children MWF and every single weekend. I moved the visitation exchanges to Barnes and Noble on Mondays, church on Wednesdays, and he picks them up from preschool on Fridays, to get us out of parking lots and waiting hours in running vehicle for him to come out to get the kids. And also to start cutting back on the number of times I have to see him.
I find out it is so cold at Morgan’s house that he has to sleep with an electric blanket, and the children sleep with him. I am concerned about Summer ’s bedwetting with an electric blanket present. Morgan says I am overreacting and everything will be fine. I start to regret offering him weekends.
After asking permission from their school to see if Sebastian would do better in Summer ’s class, Sebastian and Summer get to attend preschool together, even though he isn’t four yet. He adapts immediately, with no problems after he learns the routine. It only takes a week to adapt. They attend preschool on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays (afternoons).
Week of January 14th – A friend of mine in Italy (who knows about Morgan’s history and accompanied me to the second protection order hearing) got on the internet and pretended to be someone else. Attached their conversations that took place this week. I warned her to be careful, she said she only wanted to make absolutely sure I never fell for him again. Said she was disturbed I let him see the kids at all, and was concerned I might get back together with him. In their conversations, Morgan reveals his intense hatred of me and his wishes to have me die “a horrible death by way of bus tire” (without him being connected to the incident) In other words, he still harbors the desire to kill me, just like he wanted to kill his first ex wife., as long as no one would no it was him. This is the core of why I fear for the kids having to be alone with him. Though probably not admissible in court, I kept these conversations to remind myself that he would never be normal, in case I ever found myself falling for him again.. In the past five years he has progressed from telling me he wanted to kill me to describing in detail how he would like to see me die. Documentation attached.
January 17th and 20th, Morgan cancels visitation, citing car trouble and sickness.
January 21st, Morgan is extremely late, hanging out in back of Wal-Mart for no apparent reason, grins because he knows he is making me late for interview. I had interview to attend, Morgan loves to annoy me with his behavior when he knew I was depending on him to be on time. Loves to make me wait while he stays in Wal-Mart for 45 minutes while kids wait anxiously for their dad to materialize.
February 17th, cancelled last minute, knowing I had plans, then mysteriously arrived after I had to cancel them.
February 2003 Morgan keeps talking about his special powers to know things and about an angel that tells him things, how he has seen us having our third child together. He said his angel was sent as a special messenger from God since God is so busy. He said I should be looking for signs that we are destined to be together. I start backing away as quickly as I can. I realize that in addition to everything else that is wrong with him that he might also be schizophrenic if he sees and talks to things that aren’t there.
February 26th, 2003 Morgan tells me that his special angel has told him we will be back together I have been telling him no since August. He keeps telling me it is just a matter of time before he GETS me. That he will stop at nothing to obtain his goal, which is the entire package.I decide it is time to cut off contact with him. He does not acknowledge my repeated attempts to explain to him that I am not interested in reconciliation.
Last two weeks of February Morgan won’t leave me alone, insists I want to date him, (because I was expressing concern at his constant nosebleeds and migraines and illnesses that he might have some health problems that needed to be attended to). I made excuses not to talk to him, his response was to become icy and ignore me and any attempt I made to have contact with the children while they are with him. Tried getting me to get on the internet to ASK his permission to talk to them. I have to relinquish the need to call and tell them goodnight. I realize they are pawns to him, and just objects to get contact with me. Start trying to figure out how to reduce my contact with him down to zero without depriving children of visitation. Morgan is smart though, and finds ways to have contact anyway, like forgetting to pick them up, showing up early, picking fights and generally trying to get me to contact him.
March 2003
He also couldn’t pick them up the first two times (Monday and a Wednesday, same week) kids were in after school care, he said he was running late, made me come to him to drop them off.
March 7th his car died supposedly, he tried to make me come to himat work to get Summer ’s tuition money. He never did give the check to me, since I refused to come to him.
March 10th, Morgan claimed strep throat so he wouldn’t have to watch the kids knowing I was supposed to going out with a friend while he had visitation.
Upon exchanging the children March 16th he insisted on going to lunch together at Burger King with the kids (all of us together as one happy family) instead of ending visit upon exchange, but he had nothing to say to me. He used opportunity to glare at me the entire time.
To try to get my attention, he starts talking about his special powers:
| Subj:
what i know
Date: 3/17/2003 10:46:57 PM Central Standard Time
From: Jadewolf
To: Jasminefire
|
i can see things that ordinary people cant. you know my abilities. i see this police action in iraq getting way out of hand. there will be weapons of mass destruction used. i cant say when, where, or by who. a funny thing happened at work. a person i work with came to me and said that my gifts are going to be required very soon. when i asked for clarification, they only smiled and said “you know what you gifts are and what is going to be required of you.” the really funny thing is that i havent spoke of what my abilities are to this person. kinda makes you think about what is in store.
He cancelled twice the week of inventory, too busy to come get them.
On March 19th he states he couldn’t leave the store so we had to go to him so he could have dinner with them at WalMart’s McDonald’s.
Morgan loses his second job at Gateway. Children spend longer days with him, leaving Friday nights and coming back Saturday evenings.
He won’t answer the phone when I try to call the kids to tell them goodnight. This is punishment for not having contact with him. He is on the internet when I try to call., HE tries to make me get on the internet to ASK him permission to get off the internet so I can call my kids and tell them goodnight. They are just tools to him. I vow to take myself out of the visitation equation completely.
April 2003
April 9th
After bringing them back to church after a Wednesday night visit, Morgan who is still not talking to me, smirks and says, “Summer was telling me about her new house. You moved.” I said, no, we didn’t move. (The house may have still seemed new to her, because we had lived there about ten months. OR Morgan may have been testing me to see whether I was still living in the same place. I try to avoid talking to him at all now.)
Approx April 16th Summer starts complaining of nightmares. Describes in vivid detail her fears that mommy is going to get cut up and killed by the scary men with no faces. Says her dad is playing games on computer with scary bone monsters and that he won’t play with Sebastian and Summer .
Summer and I go with Sebastian to the hospital. Sebastian has to go to the emergency room for a croup attack at 1:00am (approx April 9th), went in ambulance, we were at the hospital for four hours, he was almost admitted to stay. We went home at 5am.
April 16th
Called Children’s Inn to ask for help, Morgan manipulating me to change dates and times for visitation, I want to meet in public places, I let CI know he would walk right in to my house, that I am looking for a new place to live, that Morgan wouldn’t leave before when he had come to my house, tells me he has right to know where his children are at every minute, that I am taking visitation to the YMCA, found out about stalking order for protection, getting more and more uncomfortable with Morgan spending time alone with kids.
Because of all his cancellations and missed visitations I let Morgan know in writing that I am going to follow the SD guidelines for visitation and that as of Easter weekend he will be getting alternating weekends. As punishment for daring to restrict his time with them (from three days a week and every weekend) gets online and pretends he is me, and hands out my phone number to guys on the internet, Summer answers the phone, someone looking for “baby girl” calls and since that is her dad’s nickname for her she thinks the phone call is for her. I tell the man to stop calling me, he insists I gave him my phone number on the internet, I tell him I haven’t been online in weeks, and because it happened within an hour of me giving Morgan notice that he was getting his time reduced, I know it was Morgan. I contact Qwest to have the “do not disturb” service placed on my line.
May 2003
Morgan stops talking to me, pretends he lost the letter saying which days he will get and calls me at home to ask when he can pick them up. He forgets to show up at school to get them when he is supposed to and makes me wait in front of the school so he can come back to town and get them an hour later after everyone has left.
Morgan misses his spring conference appointment with Summer ’s preschool teacher to see how Summer is doing in school (progress report attached) Summer doing just fine, tests at 5years 6 months.
Summer and Sebastian start telling me to stop stealing daddy’s money. I do not respond to his trying to harass me through the kids. He is looking for a fight. I will not give him one. Time with their dad is reduced to alternate weekends. Summer ’s bed wetting decreases as time with dad is cut.
May 16th, Summer ’s preschool graduation. Her father did not attend, even though he was invited.
May 25th 2003 When I let Morgan know Summer has been having vivid nightmares about me getting chopped up into pieces, he merely grins and says, maybe she has “the gift” (special powers like he has) to see things before they happen.
June 3rd 2003
Summer ’s nightmares are getting worse. Doesn’t want to go to sleep. Screams when it is time for bed. Keeps insisting that scary men with no faces are going to come take mommy away and cut her up into tiny pieces.
Wednesday June 4, Morgan didn’t show up for visitation, said his appointment ran late. He insisted on a later pickup for Saturday June 7. (Was supposed to come get them at 8:30am, wanted me to bring them at 12:30pm. Told Morgan via e mail I had somewhere I needed to be at 9am and that I would be there until well past 2pm, and that the children would just see him the following week and that he needed to be on time and remember not to schedule appointments and work when he was supposed to have visitation. (Missed both days) He called me, left a message, angrily insisting he get them anyway. I did not call him back.
Sunday June 8
Sebastian and Summer and I attend a birthday party/treasure hunt at Pasley Park for their preschool friend Sydney Hirrschoff. Sydney is 5. We move into new house, little by little each day.
Monday June 9th All done moving. Summer has not wet the bed in almost two weeks. She also hasn’t seen her father in about two weeks.
Sunday June 15, After telling the YMCA staff (Cheri, playspace) the day before when he picked the children up at 830am that he would not be covering and taking care of Sebastian ’s toenail that is coming off, Morgan returns from visit carrying Sebastian up the stairs (he couldn’t walk, he was limping the rest of the day) with a bleeding toe, barefoot and covered in dust and dirt. (Morgan had stated to the YMCA nursery attendant the day before he was going to let Sebastian run around in the dirt, even though I had told him to take care of Sebastian ’s toe by medicating it and keeping it bandaged and covered. Blatant disregard of request, reported to CPS. Morgan always tells you what he is going to do to you before he does it. This is cold and calculated.) I asked them if daddy had given Sebastian his medication. They said he had not. Antibiotics returned warm, didn’t look like any had been administered. Their jackets did not come back with them.
Sebastian and Summer both kept saying something about nails making holes in them, that Sebastian was scared of daddy and that he had hid under the bed, he was scared daddy would kill him. Summer said Sebastian hid because her dad had put her in a corner as punishment for missing mommy. She said “Daddy said ‘Summer, you go in the corner. You DON’T get to see your mommy.’ And I missed mommy and I was scared.” They also kept saying something about soup getting spilled, getting in trouble and being thrown out of a window. That glass could cut them and that nails would make holes in them.
Thursday June 19 Asked Summer about what happened at her dad’s house. She wouldn’t tell me, “I don’t want to talk about that – that’s a scary story” just said she was scared of daddy and didn’t want to go to his house anymore. Bedwetting starts again for Summer .
Saturday June 21st
Reluctantly sent the children to their dad’s. I couldn’t sleep all weekend. Concerned something may be happening, that he isn’t taking care of them. Called the Children’s Inn to talk to Molly. She said to keep an eye out for anything that may be happening to Sebastian and Summer . Also said I needed to contact CPS, and report the toe incident, that Morgan not attending to Sebastian ’s toe actually constitutes medical neglect.
Sunday June 22, Morgan returns the children, with jackets this time, but no medication. Said he could bring it into town the next day (way to get contact with me) I said no, just bring it on Wednesday when you see them again. (He has still not brought the medication back) Seemed in an unusually good mood (would not speak to me for several weeks prior to this except to cut me down in front of the children and others at the YMCA) and Summer refused to look at me. Something was not right. Summer would not make eye contact with me and would not let go of her dad. Morgan looked over at me and with an air of satisfaction and grinning, he said, “Well this is reminiscent of a certain situation, just reversed.” (I realized later he was basically saying “the tables have turned, Summer used to not want to come to me and now she won’t let me go.”) He seemed quite pleased she was so upset.
Summer was tired and emotional and I asked him if she had gotten enough sleep. He said they hadn’t gotten home (to his house) until 10pm the previous day (Saturday) and that she had had to get up pretty early so it was his fault. But he looked a little too smug about this. (I realized later the emphasis was on not getting HOME til 10pm and I was supposed to be wondering where he was. The part that disturbed me was his negligence of the children’s need to sleep)
After about half an hour, exasperated I finally said “Summer …. Do you want to invite your dad to come swimming too?” And she said “Yeah, you ask him”, so I did, and conveniently Morgan was already wearing his swim shorts, and he said, “Okayyyyyy I guess so,” but I realized later it was a setup to get contact with me and to have me see how much Summer “is attached” him. As Summer was changing into her bathing suit, she said MOMMY STEALS DADDY’S MONEY!!!! And then Sebastian walked in and said YEAH YOU NEED TO STOP STEALING HIS MONEY MOMMY!!! What should have been a 5 minute visitation exchange turned into a 2 hour ordeal. Morgan made a big production out of saying long goodbyes to see if he could get the kids to become really sad that he was leaving. This dragged on way too long. Both children were exhausted, emotional, angry and violent with each other and with me the rest of the night.
Monday June 23
The children woke up in a much better mood. Summer fell asleep at 7:30pm tonight, and slept for fourteen hours until 9:30am next day.
After calling CPS to report the toe incident, spoke with Jamie, asked what else I should look for, she said there’s emotional abuse (I know that is taking place) physical abuse (which he is very careful about doing anything that will leave marks) and then there is sexual abuse. I thanked her, and said I realized this probably wouldn’t result in an investigation, but she said to keep calling back if I noticed anything else.
I didn’t think I had anything to worry about, but then I remembered over the past few weeks that I have had to keep Summer away from her brother while he is naked. She wants to touch him and play with him when he is naked. She seems unusually interested in his anatomy. I told Summer and Sebastian that if anyone ever touched them (in bathing suit area) that they needed to tell mommy, that that was WRONG. Summer said, but mommy, someone HAS. I said “Who?” And she said, “Daddy has.” I asked her if she was sure and she said yes. I asked her if she was telling stories and she crumpled into a ball and started crying. I apologized and told her I believed her; I just needed her to talk to me. She said she didn’t want to talk about it, that she was scared. She kept saying “I don’t know. I don’t know, I don’t know…” Sebastian piped in and said YEAH Daddy touches Summer’s pee-pee! And Summer looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole in the ground. She wouldn’t talk about it again.
I told her it was important to tell me if something bad had happened to her and she kept saying, I’m scared, I’m scared to tell you, and when I asked her why she was scared, she said it was because I would be mad.
Tuesday June 24 Summer heard the tornado sirens go off, wanted to know what that noise coming from the sky was. She sat next to me and watched the news and we got blankets and pillows together to head downstairs. She brought some toys down there too. Summer was playing with her dolls, and identified one of them as daddy. She then also arranged Sebastian , Summer , Jesse and Jesse’s snake on the floor around them. I asked her what the daddy says to the kids. She said “ I HATE YOU GUYS!!!) (emphatically, almost yelling) I asked her if daddy says anything else to his kids. Yeah, she said, with the daddy (Tiger) saying to the kids: I WANT TO KILL YOU!!! (more quietly)I asked her what else happens to the kids, specifically the toy Summer identified as herself, the one that was sleeping. Summer mentioned that Daddy comes in while she is sleeping and touches her, and that she doesn’t like it. She said she doesn’t want to go to daddy’s house again.
Wednesday June 25
I asked Natalie Fenwick, a friend of mine, to come with me to help me get the children when Morgan returned. Summer was hysterical for a good half hour and would not let go of her dad, and he was just eating it up. (Morgan was just smiling, which is typical for him to be pleased at someone else’s distress, gives him a feeling of control ) After being away from him for about an hour, she was fine. When we got into the van, Summer kept saying “we don’t have much time, we don’t have much time.” I think her dad is still telling her “Mommy doesn’t want us to be a family.” (They have said this over and over) The children were fine all day until their visit with their dad. Looking back I can see a pattern of behavior, and that they are angry and violent and out of control when they return from visits with him. Not sure if this is normal.
Thursday June 26
Summer ’s first appointment with counselor. In the playroom, Summer handcuffed herself right away, put all the bad kids in the closet for ten minutes and yanked down the pants of the boys to see where their parts were. This raised several red flags.
Sebastian stated he didn’t want to go in the cabinet anymore. I asked him “Who has to go into the cabinet?” And he said “Sebastian does.” And I asked him why? And he said “Because Sebastian is bad. And sometimes Sebastian is good, but Sebastian still has to go into the cabinet. But it is dark in there, mommy, and there’s food and it squishes me. I don’t want to go into the cabinet again.” I promised him he wouldn’t have to.
Friday June 27
Summer keeps asking what happened next, what happened next, regarding about when mommy got dragged down the stairs. I am starting to sense she wants to hear a happy ending and I notice she likes the part where I tell her we moved away and she and Sebastian got to play in the sandbox and play with her cousins when we were in Florida. I notified Morgan at 5pm today via e mail that I am concerned by some of the behavior I have noticed the children exhibiting upon returning from visits with him, and that we would be taking a break from visitation for a few weeks. We are starting to pick up our routines that we had established before reintroducing their dad into their lives last year. I asked Summer if daddy knows where our new house is and she smiles and says no quite proud of herself for being so careful, and says, mommy, I don’t tell daddy the “mommy stories” and I don’t tell mommy the “daddy stories”. Now I understand her reluctance to tell me anything about daddy’s house. Possible she is dissociating already?
I asked Sebastian what scares him. “DADDY DOES!!!” he yelled. I asked him why, and he says something about dog cages, how he doesn’t like dog cages, how dog cages are for puppies and kitties and how he doesn’t want to go in there. (Not sure if it was threatened?) I asked Sebastian where the dog cages were. He said, the same place where Daddy touches Summer’s pee–pee.
They keep talking about puppies and kitties and when I ask them who has puppies and kitties, Summer says I don’t know. But Sebastian wants to talk, and is sharing more about what is going on than Summer is. When I ask Summer what Sebastian is talking about, she will keep saying, I don’t know I don’t know, that is a scary story and I don’t want to talk about it.
Saturday June 28
Summer told me at the playground today that she didn’t ever want to go to Daddy’s again. I promised her she didn’t have to if she didn’t want to.
After they got out of the bathtub, Sebastian refused to get dressed and insisted upon sitting naked on the couch. Then he started humping the chair. I asked him who did that and he just grinned. (I don’t know if he has seen dogs doing this?)
Tonight I asked Summer what made her angry, and she said, I can’t tell you that mommy, because I would get too angry and I would start screaming and you would get mad at me if I did. I think she feels she has to keep all her anger in, because if she expresses it she will have to scream, and that isn’t nice. Over time, it has seemed to me, though she used to be quite feisty, it really only appears now as violent outbursts, and that her dad may have slowly been trying to break her spirit by punishing her for expressing the “unacceptable” emotions of anger and sadness (as he began treating me when I was pregnant with her and eventually until I was put on a plane three years later.) I eventually became numb as a result. I don’t want that happening to Summer .
Sunday June 29
While we were at Spellerberg pool, Sebastian played pretty happily the entire time, had to tell him a few times to behave, he seemed to take it well, but at one point, Summer wasn’t sliding down the slide and there were a line of about ten children waiting. The parents and the children were starting to complain so I went and helped her slide down the butterfly slide into the wading pool. She got very upset and pouted for a good ten minutes on the north end of the pool. She then moved slowly back towards me, and wrapped herself in the towel and crouched down into a fetal position on the concrete about 4 feet away from where I was sitting on the bench. After about five minutes I noticed a weird noise and realized it had been coming from Summer , covered in the towel on the ground. She was half moaning, half howling, very quietly, like a wounded rabbit. I picked her up and rocked her for a while. She seems deeply troubled about something and afraid to tell me what that something is.
Later that day, just out of curiosity I asked Sebastian who has to go in the closet. Sebastian got really quiet and said, “Sebastian does.” I whispered, why does Sebastian have to stay in the closet? And he said “Because Daddy won’t let Sebastian out.”
Sebastian keeps talking about puppies and kitties at someone else’s house, that daddy has a girlfriend who has a dog named Zoe. It makes sense that he would take them to other places during the day, since there wouldn’t be central air at the old parsonage where he rents a room from another guy (named Jesse Benz.)
CPS wouldn’t be able to catch Morgan at the address in Sherman where he claims to reside with his roommate Jesse Benz, because he may be staying with a girlfriend here in Briarcliff to be able to keep an eye on us in Briarcliff. One of his ex girlfriends, Sheila, age 43, came up to me once to introduce herself; Morgan became livid (that the two of us would be out of our boxes and talking to each other. Apparently he has told her I am crazy and he has told me the same thing about her, to keep us away from each other.)) He is proud of his ability to be invisible, he receives mail at his mother’s house, takes the kids to Jesse’s house and is likely staying most of the time at his girlfriend’s place in Briarcliff.
July 2003
Thursday July 3rd
Summer said Mommy I need to tell you something, and she whispered ”I don’t like Daddy” and I said “Why not?” And she said “Because he slaps me on the face right here,” and she placed her hand on her cheek, and said right there. And then I asked her what he says and she said “I hate you Summer” and I asked her how it made her feel and she said angry.
Friday July 4th
Summer and I were talking about fun stuff we could do and how her dad had taken her to the zoo and how much fun that was, and how we like to hang out with people who like to have fun, and how we don’t need to be around people who are going to be mean to us. I said, for example, going in the closet isn’t nice. Kids don’t have to go in the closet, that is a mean thing, not a fun thing. And I asked her if Sebastian ever has to go in the closet and she said yes and I asked her who puts him there and she said “Daddy does, but I got a barstool and I climbed up there and I got him out, and I rescued him and he had ropes on his hands and his hands were tied behind his back” and she showed me how that would look with her hands behind her back, and I asked her if it was like a closet or like a cabinet and she said it was like a cabinet up high upstairs and she got him out and she asked him what happened and he said Daddy put me in here. Then I asked her if she ever has to go in the closet and she said just Sebastian not me, I don’t have to. Then she said the ropes were the color of my shirt, (charcoal gray) and that they were that color and white. They were dirty, gray and white, she said.
Sunday July 6th
I asked Summer where Daddy puts his hands on Summer’s face and she slapped her own face and slapped both cheeks and said here. And here. I said does Daddy ever slap Sebastian and she shook her head no, and pointed to herself. “Just me” she said.
Friday, July 11th
After exactly two weeks, I start getting bombarded with e-mails from Morgan. I contacted Child Protection to ask them what to do about the e mails I keep getting from Morgan demanding to see his children. The messages are now just blank e mails with messages in the subject line, and I don’t open them, just store them in a folder. It isn’t the message that disturbs me, but the way he seems to be using a military tactic to attack attack attack, then retreat to create that false sense of security. Note the date and times on the e mails, and how they get a little more menacing as time goes by and he still isn’t getting what he wants.
| Subj: | i want to see the kids–call me |
| Date: | 7/11/2003 6:07:11 AM Central Daylight Time |
| From: | Jadewolf |
| To: | Jasminefire |
| Subj:
i want to see the kids—get ahold of me
Date: 7/12/2003 6:59:38 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Jadewolf
To: Jasminefire
|
| Subj: | i want to see my kids—contact me |
| Date: | 7/18/2003 2:19:20 AM Central Daylight Time |
| From: | Jadewolf |
| To: | Jasminefire |
| Subj:
i want to see my children–contact me
Date: 7/18/2003 11:01:48 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Jadewolf
To: Jasminefire
|
| Subj:
i want to see my kids–contact me
Date: 7/19/2003 12:43:48 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Jadewolf
To: Jasminefire
|
| Subj: | i know that you are getting this–i want to see my kids–contact me |
| Date: | 7/19/2003 1:35:48 PM Central Daylight Time |
| From: | Jadewolf |
| To: | Jasminefire |
|
Subj: |
i know that you are reading this–i want to see my kids–get ahold of me |
| Date: | 7/20/2003 6:26:20 PM Central Daylight Time |
| From: | Jadewolf |
| To: | Jasminefire |
| Subj: | i want to see my kids—contact me |
| Date: | 7/20/2003 12:09:40 PM Central Daylight Time |
| From: | Jadewolf |
| To: | Jasminefire |
| Subj: | the only ones you are hurting are the kids |
| Date: | 7/21/2003 2:00:43 AM Central Daylight Time |
| From: | Jadewolf |
| To: | Jasminefire |
| Subj: | i know you are getting these–i want to see my kids—contact me |
| Date: | 7/21/2003 2:00:19 AM Central Daylight Time |
| From: | Jadewolf |
| To: | Jasminefire |
Throughout this whole time, I keep in contact with Sebastian and Summer ’s counselor, Child Protection, Allison Weidenaar, the Minnehaha Sheriff’s Office, Sioux Valley Hospital.
Child Protection strongly recommends no contact with Morgan or his family until after the Child’s Voice interview takes place on July 23rd. They let me know that ultimately the decision is up to me, but that they recommend no contact with him until a determination can be made. I keep ignoring the e-mails. He takes a threatening tone, though he never actually threatens something specific, the tone in every e-mail demands that I contact him NOW, or else he’s going to do something nasty. (That something nasty turns out to be a malicious report to Child Protection, the same tactics he has used before while trying to obtain custody, claims that I am mentally ill, unstable, unable to take care of my children, etc. I keep ignoring him. He gets more insistent, trying to get any kind of information out of me as to what is going on. The sad thing is that this man is sick and undiagnosed, and yet he is pointing at me because I have had depression. If he ever underwent a psychiatric evaluation, it would be found that he is dangerous and unstable, not me. But all the things he is accusing are things about him, projected onto me so as to distract from his actions. He will keep pushing buttons til he gets a reaction from me. I have seen his tactics for the past five years, and I know there is nothing wrong with me, and I know that I am telling the truth, and that truth has never changed, yet his stories are changing all the time. This is just another court battle to me. I am used to his tactics by now. My real concern is what is going to happen when this tactic doesn’t get him what he wants, and what lengths he will go to show me he is in charge. I am fully convinced he will attempt to kill me. But I can’t prove it. I can only wait. )
The third week of July I change my phone number to an unlisted number in my father’s name, and the phone calls from unknown numbers, Morgan’s mom, other places finally stop. Then his e-mails get even more menacing.
July 24th
After the Child’s Voice interview, and through the recommendation of Allison Weidenaar, attorney and liaison for the court, I am told that most parents, while an investigation is taking place, have no contact with the parent suspected of abuse while the investigation is going on. I let her know I am considering offering supervised visitation, pending Sioux Valley Child’s Voice interview. She said the judge would certainly appreciate that if I did offer it, though I didn’t have to.
| Subj:
notice
Date: 7/23/2003 6:00:01 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Jadewolf
To: Jasminefire
|
Nikki
It has been 4 weeks since you denied me visitation with my children. You have seen it fit not to answer numerous phone calls or emails that I have sent you requesting to see my children once again. This is to serve written notice to you that I also have a right to see my children per the divorce decree. It has been brought to my attention that you are in contempt of that decree by denying my visitation. I would hope this could be resolved in an amicable manner between us without delay.
cc: Social Services Child Protection
cc: Minnehaha County Family Court Services
| Subj: | i want to see my kids–contact me–social services has started a case file on you |
| Date: | 7/24/2003 8:21:40 PM Central Daylight Time |
| From: | Jadewolf |
| To: | Jasminefire |
| Subj:
i am not going away–i want to see my kids
Date: 7/29/2003 11:17:06 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Jadewolf
To: Jasminefire
|
| Subj:
i am not going away–i want to see my kids
Date: 7/29/2003 11:17:06 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Jadewolf
To: Jasminefire
|
| Subj:
i want to see my kids now–call me at work tuesday after 1–do it and stop being such a coward
Date: 8/4/2003 5:58:35 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Jadewolf
To: Jasminefire
|
As you can see, he is trying to provoke a reaction by demeaning me and calling me a coward. After contacting Melissa Nicholson, attorney (I almost retained last year, she recommended getting a protection order because of his weird and menacing behavior, but I decided to try to work things out on my own) she recommended sending Morgan a letter to let him know that I was offering supervised visitation to see if he was really interested in seeing his children or just having contact with me. So this is the letter I sent, certified, to Morgan’s place of work.
Him, Tuesday, August 05, 2003
As I stated on June 27th, 2003, I am very concerned about some of the things I have observed happening after the children come back from visiting with you overnights at your house. I let you know that we would be taking a break from visitation for a few weeks. CPS has attempted to stop by your house to speak with you to discuss some concerns that they have. Because they have been unable to locate you, they sent a letter that you should have received by now.
I have been in touch with the Family Visitation Center to arrange for you to visit with our children. Their number is 322-4095, and they are open weekdays after 3:00pm, earlier on weekends. They have also attempted to contact you and have not received any response. Another letter should be arriving in the mail to you shortly. They would like for you to come in to get some information on file so that they can get supervised visitation started for you.
Since the divorce decree states that visitation is to take place one week a month, from 8-5pm, and since that ends up being the hours that you are at work, I will take Sebastian and Summer over there after you are done with work, so that you can see them. It looks like 6pm on Mondays would work out best with yours, Sebastian and Summer ‘s schedule. You’ll be able to visit with them at the Family Visitation Center for an hour or so each week. Call them and schedule an appointment, if you would, please.
Nikki
After receiving the return receipt a few days later, I check back with the Family Visitation Center weekly and they have no record of any contact made by Morgan to initiate visitation. It has been over a month and he still hasn’t contacted them to set up visits.
Summer starts kindergarten, and her teacher, Penny Doremus, asks me why Summer is so spacey. I tell her the condensed version of what may have happened to her. She had checked with Summer ’s preschool teacher from last year, Ali Helling, and Ms. Helling says that Summer was not this way in her class last year. Summer just can’t focus, and is frequently in a trance state, in school and at home. By my estimations, since school got out in mid May, something must have happened to her shortly after that.
Thursday September 11th
I was served with papers this evening; Morgan filed them September 3rd, for a hearing to get unrestricted access to his children. Hearing is supposed to take place Wednesday, September 17th. I call the Children’s Inn to see if they have any ideas how to handle something like this in such a short period of time. They give me a list of about fourteen attorneys to call. I make an appointment to go in the next day to discuss a possible protection order for the children. In the affidavit Morgan says he was shocked at the accusations leveled at him. What he means is that he is shocked that I made a report two months prior, that he was already being investigated, and that I got to Child Protection before he could get them to investigate me for the “concerns” he has regarding my ability to be a competent and sane mother.
Friday September 12th
I visit the Children’s Inn and we decide that the judge will likely take a dim view of a protection order request so close to a hearing already scheduled to take place. Though I fear for what will happen to Sebastian and Summer if they are alone with him, and though I know he will punish them or kill them for telling on him, whatever happened to them, and I know he will sabotage any progress that they’ve made in counseling, I realize there has to be a better approach. I call the court administrator and request a continuance. Continuance is granted to October 3rd at 9am for a hearing to last half an hour.
September 18th I receive this letter from Him, dictated through a female named Tamara. Morgan doesn’t capitalize anything, so I know it is him. I think he is fishing for information personally – he has been known to impersonate females in the past for this reason. (Used to send me e mails during first two protection orders, pretending to be other people, warning me that private investigators were watching me, and at other times pretended to be abused women and wanted to know more about the trauma that had been inflicted by him) So this e mail reeks of him, especially the part where it says “you know Morgan is going to win”, a direct quote of what he has been known to say in the past. This isn’t about winning; this is about protecting Sebastian and Summer from further traumatization, locking in closet, etc. Perhaps it is a joint effort between Morgan and Tamara. They need remedial English classes.
| Subj:
Morgan/ kids
Date: 9/18/2003 11:20:27 PM Central Daylight Time
From: TamaraRose@hotmail.com
To: jasminefire@aol.com
Sent from the Internet (Details)
|
hi,
i know you dont know me, i am a friend of Morgan’s. im sure that you will not want to read this or respond to it but i just had some things on my mind that i wanted to tell you.
i am not picking sides since i dont know you. i have 2 kids of my own and i am divorced too. i know it is really hard as a mother not to be able to spend all the time you can with your kids. i miss my kids like crazy when they go to thier dads house. the only thing that helps me get through it is that i know that i am doing the right thing by letting them spend time with thier dad. although he was not a good husband he is a good dad and deserves to be able to see his children. i pray about it alot and i know in my heart that i am doing the right thing even though it isnt the easiest thing for me. im sure you dont care about any of that so i wont go on but i just wanted to you know that i really do understand how you are feeling.
Morgan really misses his kids. i have been hoping that you would come around and that the two of you could come to an agreement with out this turning into a big court battle. you know he has a right to see his kids. he loves them with all his heart and is going to fight for his rights to see them. i know you know that he will win in court. he has the right to see them and you are breaking the law/divorce agreement by keeping them away from him. that is all he wants, just to be able to spend time with his children. do you think there is anything that can be done or anything i can do to help?? it just seems like such a waste of money and time to make you all go through this…. its only hurting your kids and i know you want what is best for them.
so anyway i just wanted to offer to help. if you think there is anything i can do, or even if you just want to talk, i can listen. i really do understand how you are feeling and i just want what is best for all of you and for you to be able to work this out. so let me know if there is anything at all i can do.
Tamara
Friday October 3rd At the hearing, Morgan volunteers to participate in family therapy (again to get contact and information. ) I let the judge know that no such arrangement has been recommended by the children’s counselor. The judge was pretty blunt with Him, warning him to be careful with his choice of discipline, manners and taking care of the kids, he reminded him that I am the custodial parent and that he had better try his best to support my wishes as far as the children are concerned lest we end up in court again. Morgan tried hurling insults, insinuating things like well why would the kids cry when returned to their mother, but the judge stopped him mid sentence and said, that is what kids DO Mr. LAYNE. They WANT to make their parents HAPPY and they will do whatever it takes to accomplish that. Chances are they wanted you to approve and they knew that CRYING would GET them that approval. The judge had a few other reprimands for him. Though I got the feeling the judge was reluctant to do so, without concrete evidence and physical proof of sexual abuse by way of penetration, Morgan is permitted to have unsupervised visitation with the children through the Family Visitation Center, but only one overnight as opposed to the entire weekend, and only a few hours on Wednesday nights. At the hearing, Morgan and his attorney produced a letter from Child Protection dated Sept 29th, which did recommend that Morgan ensure proper supervision of the children at all times. The judge raised and eyebrow and asked Morgan what that was all about, if it was directed at him or if it was a form letter they send out to everyone. Hesitating, Morgan said “I’m sure it’s just a form letter.” Of course he isn’t going to admit doing anything wrong.
The children find out they will see their father again. Summer starts wetting the bed again.
Oct 8th 2003 Morgan attempts to make contact with me again by handing Summer the list of four phone numbers where he can be reached. I left him a note at the FVC giving him emergency contact numbers in case there was a true emergency. I instruct him to call 911 if there is a medical emergency. I have no reason to call him.
October 17th 2003 Morgan starts making more demands. It isn’t enough time he has, he is insisting on more time, earlier pickups later drop-offs, and another overnight. This is the e-mail I receive.
| Subj:
visitation
Date: 10/17/2003 5:31:47 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Jadewolf
To: Jasminefire
|
It has come to my attention that standard visitation is to include every other holiday and 1/2 of any and all vacation time that the kids have from school. It is my intention to exercise my right to have this time with them. Let me know which holidays I am to have with them and when my half of their christmas vacation, spring vacation, and summer vacation will start. Also, which holiday you want to spend with them so that I can plan for the other half of the holidays.
thanks
October 19th The police had to be called when Morgan “forgot” to bring Sebastian and Summer back from their first overnight after visitation reinstated. Turns out they never even went to his house, Family Visitation Center could not locate him at any of the four numbers he had left, children returned stating they had slept on the floor at Tamara’s house. He claimed he thought it was a 7:30pm return, but FVC Closes at 7pm. It was supposed to be 6:30pm return. He has no regard for rules and timeframes.
October 19th This next e mail, though not as arrogant, is still an attempt to re establish contact with me even though I have made it very clear all contact can be handled through Family Visitation Center. Since I make a point not to be home so he can call me while they are with him, he is determined to get to me somehow.
| Subj:
Forgotten items
Date: 10/20/2003 12:41:00 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Jadewolf
To: Jasminefire
|
a couple of items were overlooked when i repacked the kids bags to bring them back. Both of their toothbrushes, their toothpaste, some cough syrup, and Sebastian ‘s cross. let me know when i can get these items back.
November 6th Sebastian has become obsessed with crosses, drawing them all over the chalkboard at school, and expresses fear about being hung on the cross in Daddy’s back yard. I asked him what was going on, and he said he didn’t want to be taped to the cross in Daddy’s back yard.
November 7th, 2003 AM Summer was crying at school and kept insisting that I was in trouble, that I was going to get hurt and killed, that she had to save Mommy. Her teacher put her in her lap, consoled her and assured her I was ok, Summer was really convinced that something horrible was going to happen to me.
November 7th, 2003 PM As I am putting her to bed, Summer states, “Daddy touched my private parts and I didn’t like it.” She has said the same thing for the past five months, only now she is articulating it much more clearly since they had the safe touch program at school and they explained to the children what is and isn’t appropriate behavior and that you should tell someone if it is happening to them. She also states that Daddy threw a picture across the room and it broke. I ask her which picture it was and she describes perfectly the picture where Daddy’s wearing black, Mommy is wearing white and Summer is in a white nightgown. That would be the wedding picture.
November 9th At 10am Morgan shows up at my house with all my childhood journals and diaries he had been keeping and tells me that Summer has threatened to tell people “I am going to tell people you touched my private parts” if he tries to put her in time out again. I find it disturbing he feels entitled to go around every barrier I have put up to avoid contact with him and show up at my house to protect himself before Summer can say something that might destroy his image. It is extremely alarming to me that he shows up to “get to me” before she says anything. Because all of his other tactics have failed, because seduction, coercion, threats and intimidation have not worked, he is now using the direct approach by showing up at our house. I did not tell him she has already said something. I contact Child Protection the next day after trying to figure out what exactly is going on. All of his other tactics to get my attention have failed. So he watched and waited until he knew I would be home and showed up at my house. When we moved in June, I did not give him our new address. HE FOUND US. HE WILL ALWAYS FIND US.
November 10th PM Both children were urinating on the carpet in the living room. This is not typical behavior for 4 and 5 year old children unless trauma is taking place.
November 10th PM I asked who gets put on a cross, and Summer says, Sebastian does, and I asked how and she said, Sebastian gets taped to a cross in Daddy’s backyard.
November 12th PM As I was picking up Summer from school the office notifies me that a detective from the Sheriff’s office wants me to call back ASAP. I call to speak with the detectives and they instruct me NOT to take the kids to visitation until they can figure out what is going on and why Summer keeps saying that Daddy touched her private parts. Knowing Morgan is going to be HIGHLY pissed off at not getting to see them again I take the children to the Children’s Inn to stay for a while. It’s the only place he won’t follow us, and I don’t want to endanger my friends if he decides to show up at THEIR houses to look for us. I can no longer say with any certainty what his actions will be.
November 13th I requested and received an immediate protection order, indicating Morgan’s latest attempt at contact with me is unsettling after all my attempts at cutting off contact, changing my phone number, establishing visitation at Family Visitation Center, and in light of the fact that we have been divorced three years he shows no sign of slowing down – his attempts at getting to me are becoming more and more persistent and he is trying every angle, to the point where he has no choice but to find a way to get to me directly. When I took away his ability to get to me by torturing the kids, he retaliated with e-mail. When I ignored it, he began threatening court. When that failed, he wrote from another address, threatening he would win in court again. Two more e-mails demanding more things be given to him, insisting on contact after he gets visitation reinstated. He leaves his phone numbers for me to call him with Summer . He brings his girlfriend and leaves her in the car during visitation exchanges to wind me up. After I ignore all of these things, he shows up at my house. It is clear to me he is escalating his tactics.
November 14th, Summer describes the “black gun that lives in Daddy’s closet. Kids aren’t supposed to touch it because they could get hurt.” I do not want them anywhere near him if he has somehow obtained a weapon. If visitation is reinstated I think it should be supervised and it should take place at the Family Visitation Center, where they have a metal detector.
November 17th PM Summer states she does not want to get thrown through a glass window if she tells what Daddy has been doing to her, and that she was scared I would be mad at her if she told me what had happened to her. She starts talking again about how Daddy dumped hot soup on their heads and how they don’t like that.
November 19th Protection Order finally served. He retaliates with calling a hearing for child support reduction to be held December 1st. I get hearing moved to December 5th.
November 28th PM Summer states very clearly again that “Daddy touched my private parts and I didn’t like it.”
November 30th PM Summer states again, “Daddy touched my private parts but he’s not going to do that anymore.” She keeps saying the same thing over and over again, referring to an incident that has taken place in the past, one she is threatening Morgan with and one that will place her in danger if she is allowed to be alone with him again.
December 1st 2003, Sebastian and Summer keep telling me very disturbing things, talking about how Morgan cut open and killed a cat in front of them and taped it to the sidewalk, how he used scissors (kitchen shears?) and gray tape (duct tape?) These things are so bizarre but entirely possible, knowing Morgan and his fixation on mutilating, killing and destroying things.
December 3rd 2003, Summer states “Daddy put glass in my throat, now it’s in my tummy, it hurts really bad, so I hid from Daddy but he’s a really good finder, so he found me.” Later after that she states, “My Daddy is scary.”
December 5th 2003, At child support hearing Morgan opts not to pay for Summer ’s Lutheran school tuition. Though at $11 per hour he is making more now than he ever was, though his rent is only $200 per month and has no expenses to speak of, his money is more important than his daughter’s education. Though on the surface it looks like a hearing for child support modification, this was just another way for Morgan to obtain information about where I work and how much money I am making, a way to find out once again where we are and what we are doing at all times. Summer later says Daddy is going to marry Tamara.
December 6th PM Summer was talking about the cat again and how they tried to save it, how Sebastian tried to fix it with his tools, but how the kitty cat is lost now, that they couldn’t save it.
December 7th 2003 PM On the way home from church today, Summer says, “Mommy if you take us back to Daddy’s house, he’s going to shoot us. Don’t take us back there, it’s not safe. OK Mommy? OK?” I told her she wouldn’t have to. She then went on to say that ”Daddy has a gun in his room and handcuffs. He has a jail in our room at his house. We have to go to jail. We don’t have anyone to take care of us. We are there all by ourselves.”
Repeatedly since December, Summer keep saying she doesn’t want daddy to cut her.
Since we moved to Minnesota in January, Summer is doing great in school. Once in a while she will have an outburst of rage at home, where she says she is extremely angry, but won’t tell me why. Dr. Nazarian says she is likely going through the toddler developmental phase since something happened to her to stop her development.
The kids keep asking about their dad, and I keep telling them that based on what they keep saying, I don’t know if it is safe for them to be with their dad. They keep insisting that he’s better now and he won’t do those things to them ANYMORE. This disturbs me because it further confirms that he did something, and they are trying to make him safe in their minds.
Morgan has been torturing and abusing these children since before they were even born. Food and sleep were denied to me during both pregnancies, this is a form of child abuse.
I fear that since my daughter has told him she is going to tell people he has touched her private parts that she is in grave danger if allowed to be alone with him again. Since he has not been successful in using them to get contact with me I fear he will keep escalating his tactics until he does get my attention. I fear he will do something horrible to them to punish me for not having contact with him. He has already started doing this.
Morgan has stated he has an angel assigned to him (February 2003) that communicates God’s will and tells him when things are going to happen, says he speaks to this angel on a regular basis, that this angel saved him from death (July 1997) that he has special powers (March 2003), that he is a dark prince (January 2000), that he is invisible (November 2002). He thinks he is invincible and that the rules of the universe and society do not apply to him. His behaviors are those of someone who has schizophrenia, or going through a psychotic break, in addition to having a personality disorder. His sleep habits are very much like those of someone who is on meth. (He never sleeps, and when he does sleep it is reminiscent of a vampire with his arms across his chest.) He is bizarre all the way around, but he is also very intelligent with an IQ of around 137, and mirrors the human behavior of those around him to “appear” in tune with them. (I once caught him December 1998 copying me when I decided to use my fork to eat pizza to see if he would follow. He did.)
99% of the people he comes into contact with will never know what he is capable of, because of the veneer he has perfected. But since I know what he is, he is going to make it a point to destroy me so that I can’t make it public what he is. He will wait until I am alone, and he will attempt to annihilate me since he can no longer control me and since he can’t persuade me to keep quiet about what Summer has been telling me. The children and I are in danger if he is allowed to come near us. He thinks the children are his property and as he hissed at Judge Bogue during the divorce trial in December 2000, “ I am their father and I have a right to know where they are and what they are doing at all times.”
Morgan doesn’t follow the rules of society and decent human beings. Morgan is a sociopath. He does not understand the word no. He does not get hints or clues. He appears to be normal and functioning on the outside because he has studied in counseling what normal human beings are supposed to look like and what normal human beings are supposed to say. You cannot reason with him, even his attorney tried to convince him to be reasonable at the custody hearing he called in 2000, just two months before the trial. He will not listen to reason. He is determined to have his way and that is it.
Judge Bruce Anderson reduced Morgan’s sentence for assault in 2000 under the condition that Morgan get some help through counseling, in hopes it would do him some good. I am very sorry to say that it hasn’t. I have tried to deal with him civilly. I finally realized I could not make him safe, but I can try to keep him safe from his neglect, torture and abuse.
He keeps telling me not to tell the authorities. But I keep doing it anyway.
November, 1998 He told me “Don’t be telling people what goes on at home”, (that he was psychologically abusing me and neglecting Summer , that I had stayed at the Children’s Inn.) He told me that we keep our (domestic violence) problems private and we don’t go telling the world.
July 1998 He said, “Tell the paramedics not to come” when Summer had a seizure.
October 1998 He told me, “Now, Nikki, don’t hit the big red panic button” when Summer had a nosebleed, after he put her face down on the couch as an infant during his extended weekly visit to the bathroom.
March 2000 After the assault, there was no apology, just. “We need to get our stories straight before the police show up, they’re going to separate us and you have to tell them it was just a confrontation and we fell down the stairs. “Please don’t tell them what happened….” When he realized I was going to tell them.
And when I called them back the next day and they wanted me to come to the sheriff’s office, he said “Don’t show them your arms, don’t tell anyone what happened, I’ll lose my jobs.” I did it anyway.
I have taught the children how to scream, how to kick, how to call 911 if someone is doing something that scares them, something happens to them that makes them feel they might be in danger, but I fear that isn’t enough to save them. By the time there ARE marks on these children it may be too late. I managed to escape from him as he was dragging me down the stairs but only barely. They won’t be able to overpower him the day he finally snaps. It is my duty as their mother to protect them in any way I can. I see imminent danger for them if things continue the way that they have. I owe it to them to articulate the things they can’t yet say, the things they’ve blacked out, the things they are afraid of saying for fear they will get thrown out a window or that Mommy will get cut up into tiny pieces if they talk. Summer is starting to dissociate. Her personality is disintegrating. Left unchecked this can turn into a multiple personality disorder. My daughter’s personality can heal and my son can work through his rage but only if the trauma ends for them soon.
Unfortunately, most of the abuse Morgan inflicts does not leave a visible mark, and so it is my word/the children’s words against his. The assault was the one and only time he has left any proof of his abuse. He is so charming and polite most people would never believe is capable of such violence. It has been five years and he is still not changing the kinds of violence that preludes his snapping and resorting to physical force when his other tactics have all failed. He has wanted me dead for five years. He has progressed from simply wanting to kill me to having a good idea as to which way would be best for me to die. Morgan will come after me; it’s only a matter of time. I would like to have a will drawn up designating guardians so that in case he is successful in killing me that the children won’t become orphans when he goes to prison for attempting/succeeding to murder me.
Here are the conversations you wanted to see. Sassafrass74 is my friend Shana, who lives in Italy and was communicating with Morgan over the Internet, pretending to be a much younger girl. Shana accompanied me to the second protection order hearing. Jadewolf is Morgan. He had no idea he was talking to a friend of mine. He wanted me dead when I left the first time in 1998, this hasn’t changed; he still wants me dead, he hasn’t let the idea go, I let the judge know about this conversation describing how he would like to see me die.
| Subj:
convo with liar boy..or asshair
Date: 1/18/2003 2:35:36 AM Central Standard Time
From: sassafrass74@yahoo.com
To: jasminefire@aol.com
Sent from the Internet (Details)
|
thought u might want these….his true form is now reveiled…he’s a liar!!!! its nothing big till about the middle…made me soo mad Nikki!!! grrrr
Jadewolf: hey you
solsticegirl: how u doin
Jadewolf: pretty good-thanks
Jadewolf: yourself
solsticegirl: doing alot better….went to the dr and i got bronchitis so he gave me lots of meds plus an inhaler soo.. i feel better thank the lord
Jadewolf: thats good that you are feeling better
Jadewolf: 🙂
Jadewolf: tough not feeling 100%
solsticegirl: yeah, i was out of the loop there for a couple of days…
solsticegirl: your right
Jadewolf: im sure that you were
solsticegirl: ok your up for first topic of hte night
solsticegirl: you need to vent
solsticegirl: hehe
Jadewolf: i need to vent huh
Jadewolf: hehehehe
solsticegirl: heck, i don’t know….lol
Jadewolf: hmmmmm
Jadewolf: well, i managed to hide for most of the day–so my work assignment didnt get any larger–hehehehe
solsticegirl: hehe
solsticegirl: funny….
solsticegirl: hidin in the woman’s changin room
solsticegirl: jk
solsticegirl: hey do they have cameras in there?
Jadewolf: dang–ive been found out–hehehehe
solsticegirl: i alwasys wondered that
solsticegirl: lol
Jadewolf: no, they dont
solsticegirl: i always thought they did
solsticegirl: or had people behind the mirrors
Jadewolf: none of the above–hehehehe
solsticegirl: not that i would steal. cuz i don’t…but thank god!!!
Jadewolf: i know that i sure wouldnt want anyone watching me while i try on clothes
solsticegirl: can u imagine?? i go into dressing rooms thinking that there is
Jadewolf: hehehehe
solsticegirl: freaky
solsticegirl: i was travelin once years ago…
Jadewolf: im sure that there are businesses out there that do watch
solsticegirl: and it was when they were showing news reports that there were people watchin.. like pervs…in bathrooms in gas stations…right?
solsticegirl: well….i went into this one place..had to p soo bad
Jadewolf: oh no
solsticegirl: and the mirror was right in front of the toilet
solsticegirl: the guys runnin the place lookd gross….
solsticegirl: i freakedo out and made my friend go to another one cuz i thought they were wathchin
solsticegirl: lol
Jadewolf: hehehehe–i wouldnt have blamed you
solsticegirl: plus it smelled like urine
Jadewolf: yuck
solsticegirl: yeah…the “bathrooms” here…..
solsticegirl: they are either the squat kind or they have to lids
solsticegirl: the squat kind is really hard
solsticegirl: lol
Jadewolf: hehehehe–i can imagine
Jadewolf: things are a little different there i guess–hehehehe
solsticegirl: very different actually
Jadewolf: sorry, i got booted last night and couldnt get signed back on
solsticegirl: thats ok..i figured as much
solsticegirl: aol can be a pain
Jadewolf: darn aol—i know what you mean
solsticegirl: hey, is my pic showing up in the corner?
solsticegirl: like u have a bird?
Jadewolf: i dont see anything
solsticegirl: mann……
Jadewolf: its supposed to be a chicken hawk–hehehehe
solsticegirl: i couldn’t think of his name
solsticegirl: hehe
Jadewolf: i cant either
solsticegirl: how do i can’t it?
solsticegirl: chicken hawk is rigt
solsticegirl: nm…i found it
Jadewolf: i was looking
solsticegirl: i was asking howi change it…not can’t i spelled that wrong
solsticegirl: lol
Jadewolf: hehehehe
solsticegirl: ok what about now
solsticegirl: any pic/
solsticegirl: ?
Jadewolf: not yet–sorry
solsticegirl: should be dolphins
solsticegirl: oh well
solsticegirl: anywhoo
solsticegirl: so keep on telling me about your “busy” day
solsticegirl: lol
Jadewolf: well, i got done with work, went a got my haircut, went over to my mothers to get my kids, and here we are
Jadewolf: hehehehe
solsticegirl: how are they doing?
solsticegirl: good?
Jadewolf: doing good, they are at the tailend of their croup–still coughing a little
solsticegirl: i looked that up on the net yesterday…sounds bad..like they could have an attack…airways closing and all…scary
solsticegirl: brb…need to heat up my hot chocolate..no cofee forme…not with this crappy sickness..lol…brb though
Jadewolf: sorry, was gone for a couple of minutes taking care of the wee ones
solsticegirl: ok
solsticegirl: sorry bout that
Jadewolf: np
solsticegirl: are they still up?
Jadewolf: so, whatcha wanna talk about tonight
Jadewolf: they are just getting to sleep now
solsticegirl: i don’t know..what u want to talk about
Jadewolf: still restless
Jadewolf: i gave them some medicine before they went to bed to help with the coughing
solsticegirl: and to sleep
solsticegirl: hehe
Jadewolf: of course–hehehehe
solsticegirl: ok your choice of subjects
solsticegirl: no expceptions lol
Jadewolf: ok–what are my choices–hehehehe
solsticegirl: well….ok…anything to do with your personal life…or actually your frustrations or fears or fights or emotions…or we could talk about the weather…lol
solsticegirl: 😉
solsticegirl: or we could do like 20 q
solsticegirl: s
solsticegirl: i don’t care
solsticegirl: hehe
Jadewolf: hmmmm–well, i dont want to talk about the weather–hehehe
solsticegirl: lol
Jadewolf: i was asked today if i applied to be an assistant store manager
solsticegirl: did u?
Jadewolf: i told my boss that i didnt–i didnt think that the timing was right
solsticegirl: why not…it could make up some of your child support u are losing
Jadewolf: i would be to relocate though–and that would take me away from my children
solsticegirl: don’t u have partial custoday?
solsticegirl: u want to move away from yourx
solsticegirl: lol
Jadewolf: it would be nice if they could come with but they wouldnt be able to
solsticegirl: y?
Jadewolf: they cant leave the area–that was put there for my protection–she already left once and came back–dont want it happening again
solsticegirl: she left? was she allowed to do that?
solsticegirl: your protction?
Jadewolf: i had already had her served with the papers saying that the children couldnt leave the state–she did it anyway–and this state did NOTHING
solsticegirl: how long was she gone?
solsticegirl: where did she go?
solsticegirl: wow
solsticegirl: shaking head
Jadewolf: she was gone with my children for 2 years–she went to fl
solsticegirl: whose in fl
Jadewolf: i told you that this state is very gender biased
solsticegirl: two years?
Jadewolf: her family
Jadewolf: yes
solsticegirl: u didn’t see them for two years??
solsticegirl: why did she come back?
Jadewolf: its only been in the last year that i have been able to see my children
Jadewolf: she must have worn out her welcome in fl or something
solsticegirl: still shakin head…. worn out her welcome? what kind of person is she?
Jadewolf: i think we had this part of the conversation the other night
Jadewolf: her and her sister and mother are all nutcases
Jadewolf: her brother and father are both bigots
solsticegirl: but why would she wear out her welcome with two babies… yes we did but tha’ts not what kind of person she is
solsticegirl: but we don’ thave to go there if u don’t want
Jadewolf: shes a user–
solsticegirl: user?
Jadewolf: she uses people to get what she wants
solsticegirl: that’s really messed up…who did she use? how…why??
Jadewolf: my family
solsticegirl: she used your family?
Jadewolf: she got money from my mother and father–all the time
Jadewolf: took advantage of my families generoisity
solsticegirl: they sent it to her?
solsticegirl: wow
Jadewolf: she went over and asked for it while we were together
solsticegirl: what didshe use it for?
Jadewolf: nobody really knows
solsticegirl: did u know?
Jadewolf: i didnt know she was asking for money until she left
solsticegirl: wow
solsticegirl: why did she come back?
Jadewolf: she says that she thinks of this area as home–but shes not even from this area
solsticegirl: why would she think that? florida is way different than sd
solsticegirl: when did she move to sd?
solsticegirl: why did she move to sd?
solsticegirl: lol
Jadewolf: who knows–hehehehe
solsticegirl: wow
solsticegirl: she sounds like a freak
solsticegirl: lol
solsticegirl: jk
Jadewolf: marches to the beat of a different drum i guess
solsticegirl: i guess
solsticegirl: lol
Jadewolf: hey, she is a freak–heheheeh
solsticegirl: lol
solsticegirl: did the kids remember u?
Jadewolf: not really
Jadewolf: i had to tolerate her being around the first few times i had them so they would have a security blanket
solsticegirl: wow…how did u deal with that? that must have been really hard on you….how was she dealing with you seeing them again
Jadewolf: wanna hear some more b/s
solsticegirl: sure
solsticegirl: 😉
Jadewolf: this state let her get away with at least 3 felonies and did nothing
Jadewolf: 2 counts of forgery, 1 count of perjury
solsticegirl: what?
solsticegirl: what kind of lawyer does she have??
solsticegirl: fogery on who
solsticegirl: perjury of what
Jadewolf: against the bank–she forged my name and got 2 loans at 2 different times
solsticegirl: what/??
solsticegirl: holy crap
Jadewolf: yup–they didnt do a fng thing either
Jadewolf: she also committed contempt of court when she left after the papers were delivered to her–thats another felony–they didnt do anything to her about that either
solsticegirl: wow
solsticegirl: im amazed
solsticegirl: that she could get away with taht
Jadewolf: well, she did
solsticegirl: good lawyer? or good luck?
Jadewolf: pushy lawyer and maybe just better luck than i had
solsticegirl: god was on her side maybe? things happen sometimes for reason that we don’t always understand…
solsticegirl: its sad though
solsticegirl: maybe she just had to get away from it all
solsticegirl: and when she was ready she came back
Jadewolf: just plain bad luck for me i guess–i survived though and as a result–i am much stronger than she could ever imagine–physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually
solsticegirl: wow
solsticegirl: i bet
solsticegirl: maybe she is too?
Jadewolf: running away from things only proves one thing—
Jadewolf: they have neither the strength(in any way) nor the resolve to handle situations–it is only by staying through the roughest of times and handling situations the we become stronger
solsticegirl: i have ran a couple of times but i was in danger
solsticegirl: maybe she felt she needed her family
Jadewolf: there was no danger
Jadewolf: and those kids are my family
Jadewolf: she thinks of nobody but herself and she proved it when she ran away and took them with her–she couldnt have thought of the children–they need 2 parents–not just one who cant even take care of herself
solsticegirl: that’s true…. wonder why she left though..did she ever tel u?
solsticegirl: she can’t take care of herself?
solsticegirl: no jobn
solsticegirl: that’s right
Jadewolf: her mother took care of her and my kids for about 6 months or so–the first time she came back up for court–she couldnt even talk–she was so messed up on pills
solsticegirl: wow….did she have anyone with her?
solsticegirl: on pills/
solsticegirl: what pills
Jadewolf: her mother
solsticegirl: and the courts do nothging?
solsticegirl: her mom came?
Jadewolf: prescription drugs she said to help her with her emotional problems
solsticegirl: didn’t the courts see she was messed up?
Jadewolf: yes, she was prompted for every answer she made–the judge is an idiot
solsticegirl: wow
solsticegirl: they should have seen that
solsticegirl: if it was obvious
solsticegirl: was she cryin or something
Jadewolf: not crying at all–but when she was asked a question–she would just sit there with a blank stare on her face–they would ask her the same question several times before she would answer it
solsticegirl: oh jeez
solsticegirl: rolling eyes
solsticegirl: did u have another court hearing?
Jadewolf: yup–pretty much the same thing–judge was still an idiot
solsticegirl: anyone come with her that time? her mom?
Jadewolf: her mother was with her all the times we were in court
solsticegirl: wow…
solsticegirl: unbelievable
Jadewolf: it is, isnt it
solsticegirl: yes
solsticegirl: wow
solsticegirl: how is she now?
Jadewolf: the system has failed miserably–more times than not–it does
solsticegirl: does she drink?
Jadewolf: that is why im not a cop anymore
Jadewolf: no, she doesnt drink anymore
solsticegirl: anymore
solsticegirl: why aren’t u a cop?
Jadewolf: i dont believe in the system i was working for anymore–so, i quit
solsticegirl: very upstanding
solsticegirl: lol
solsticegirl: its messed up though
Jadewolf: i wont do something i dont believe in
solsticegirl: i guess not
Jadewolf: i saw the system that is supposed to protect people like me–fail so many times–i just got so sick of it
solsticegirl: i guees so…i would knocked her one
Jadewolf: im not a violent person though–i was an officer for 9 years and was always able to talk anyone who wanted to knock me on my butt–out of it
solsticegirl: did she?
solsticegirl: wanna knock u on your butt
solsticegirl: lol
Jadewolf: im sure she probably did a couple of times–i can be pretty stubborn–hehehe
solsticegirl: lol
solsticegirl: didn’t u just wanna kill her at time?
solsticegirl: she sounds like a real biatch
Jadewolf: im not a violent person–
solsticegirl: still
solsticegirl: enough to try a patient mans patience
Jadewolf: but i can say that it wouldnt have broke my heart to see her die a horrible and painful death under a bus tire
Jadewolf: heheheheeh
solsticegirl: LOL
solsticegirl: so i take it you two aren’t getting back together in the future
Jadewolf: i dont think so–hehehehe
solsticegirl: she want u still?
Jadewolf: i think the chances of me becoming the elected ruler of the world are greater than the chance of us getting back together
solsticegirl: lmao
solsticegirl: ruler of the world huh?
Jadewolf: yup–hehehehe
Jadewolf: no chance of that happening
solsticegirl: what kind of ruler would u be?
solsticegirl: good way of putting it.
solsticegirl: hey brb
Jadewolf: hehehehe
Jadewolf: k
solsticegirl: k sorry
Jadewolf: np
solsticegirl: anywhoo
Jadewolf: yes
solsticegirl: talk man talk
Jadewolf: hmmmmm–well, the 2 years the kids were gone, i worked on a lot of things
solsticegirl: like what
Jadewolf: physical strength, emotional strength, spiritual strength
Jadewolf: i became even more stubborn–hehehehe
solsticegirl: hehe
solsticegirl: well that’s good at least
Jadewolf: cleaned out a number of the ghosts from my past
solsticegirl: ghots?
Jadewolf: not literal–figuratively speaking
solsticegirl: i knew that
solsticegirl: heh
Jadewolf: hehehehe
solsticegirl: well…at least your doing betternow
Jadewolf: much better now–thankfully
solsticegirl: maybe she is too so the kids can have a sane upbringing
solsticegirl: did u die on me?
solsticegirl: or fall asleep
Jadewolf: coughing–sorry
solsticegirl: well,,i think i will get offline and take a shower…hose off the sickness
Jadewolf: my kids are awake–darn it–hehehehe
solsticegirl: uh oh
solsticegirl: not good
Jadewolf: nope-1 was coughing and woke up the other
solsticegirl: you evil daddy
Jadewolf: gave the one some medicine and just waiting for him to settle down now
solsticegirl: lol
Jadewolf: hehehehe
solsticegirl: ok..ima go now…have a good night…
Jadewolf: they didnt give me any problems
Jadewolf: have a good day–talk to you soon
solsticegirl: ok ciao ciao
Jadewolf: bye for now
solsticegirl: bye bye
Jadewolf: take care
solsticegirl: u too
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.”
–Harvey Fierstein
Musings of a Descriptive Nature. 