Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us.
Strategy: Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you. Learn to renegotiate your relationships to have what you want.
You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don’t. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others’ behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.
If the people in your life treat you in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment. Identify the payoffs you may be giving someone in response to any negative behavior. For example, when people are aggressive, bossy or controlling, and then get their way, you have rewarded them for unacceptable behavior.
Because you are accountable, you can declare the relationship reopened for negotiation at any time you choose, and for as long as you choose. Even a pattern of relating that is 30 years old can be redefined. Before you reopen the negotiation, you must commit to do so from a position of strength and power, not fear and self-doubt.
About Nikki Dresden
I am a feisty, fiery, ferocious girl with a fearsome appetite. I collect illustrations and inspirations. I adore the delicious, the delightful, and the intoxicating. I am a night owl.
I am also an early bird.
Fact is, I rarely sleep. I get the most done between midnight and dawn. I catch naps when I can. There's just so much I want to accomplish in this life, and I keep thinking of additional adventures and dreams I'd like to accomplish, and, let's face facts: we aren't getting any younger.
I firmly believe that the Road to Someday leads to the Land of Never.
I feel compelled to teach my children the value of thinking independently, and to avoid, at all costs, blind beliefs, stereotypes, assumptions and speculation.
I believe that educating yourself is one of the most valuable things you can do for yourself and for the world around you.
I also happen to question authority, and tend to exasperate and even infuriate those with an agenda. I tend to inspire hatred in those who would love nothing more than for me to just do as I'm told.
I've been informed on many occasions that I think too much. I can't help it. I'm naturally inquisitive. I'm analytical. It's just in my nature. The select few friendships I have made on this planet are with kindred spirits who, like me, have the uncanny ability to predict the obvious; who can tolerate a point of view other than their own; who know how to laugh at indiosyncracies, admire strengths; love others for who they are. I have tremendous respect for those who understand the dangers of associating with the complacent, the mundane and the superficial.
The best friends in this world are mentors. I admire those who recognize that we all have something to offer; those who would never dare to suggest that anyone should be more like they are. I love to read books, as well as people.
My life is a bit crazy sometimes. I love it. I would never dream of trading in the experiences I have had for a boring, safe, routine existence in the suburbs, married to an accountant.
(No offense to accountants.)
Musings of a Descriptive Nature. 